Often times in order for people to catch up with one another questions are involved. Catching up requires interest and curiosity in one another’s lives to understand where life is taking each other. I personally love catching up with old friends. Recently I took a trip to the town I attended college and I spent time with three people who I was very close to during my college career. I appreciate them. I missed them.
In order to catch up with each other we had to ask a million questions but they were based on conversation. We truly care about each other and that was the foundation for the conversations in the first place. Those people got a prime viewing seat into my personal life because of the history we shared. Catching up was more than just wanting to be in the loop or having answers to questions about their lives. Those conversations happened because we care.
This post is about the most annoying questions anyone asks me and why I find them annoying. Often times, because of how and where I grew up, people think they deserve answers on my most personal situations because they watched me grow up. Because they’ve supported my parents. But FYI it does NOT work that way for me. People are nosey. They’re more curious than caring lately and I can smell the difference based on the tone and look in your eyes as you ask me questions. So if you’ve ever gotten a smart comment or sarcastic rebuttal from me-know it’s because you just annoyed me.
I take my privacy very seriously. I pick and choose what information I allow people to know. That’s one of the reasons it takes me foreve to publish new posts. It takes me a long time to decide what I’m going to be vulnerable about. And although I actually have readers all over the world, I’m a very private person.
So given my lengthy intro here are the top 3 questions that churn my soul and grate my nerves more than anything. And just a warning this entry contains a lot of sarcasm and a lot of irritation so if you can’t handle those things it’s best if you park it here.
Okie dokie here they are…
Question #1: You’re STILL not teaching?
Can I just say that this question reaks of judgement?! My blood hits boiling the second I hear the emphasis placed on “still.” I’m sorry, am I disappointing your plans for my life? Get over it. The answer is no. I’m not teaching. And it kills me inside everyday, if you must know. I love teaching children, adults, teenagers, anyone-it’s one of my deepest passions. However, getting back into teaching has been complicated and I’m very much invested in another job right now. So no, I’m not teaching. But one day I will be teaching again. But I’m sure you’ll find another question to make me feel annoyed about once I’m back at it again.
Question #2: You seriously don’t want kids?
Right now, no. I love children. I love babies. Those of you who work with me everyday know I’m great at working with kids and I treat every child in my center as if they were my own offspring. And I also tell you that I love giving them back at the end of the day. Right now my life has no space for children and I would not be able to properly support them the way I believe children should be supported. I barely make enough money to support myself. I have family members with children and I love those kids so so much. For now, I have them to keep me young and involved. I don’t have a partner to raise children with and I’m annoyed by the question because, again, it reaks of judgement. If you want me to have kids so badly be my surrogate-how about that one?
Question #3: Where’s the ring on your finger?
Well, common sense would indicate that if it’s not on my finger it’s either in its own box or still unpurchased in the store. I know what you’re getting at, though. Again, your question reaks of judgement because I’m not engaged after all this time. Your judgment doesn’t make me want to get engaged faster, It makes me want to tell you being engaged isn’t the only thing that matters in life for a young woman. You could just ask the preliminary questions that one would ask when they truly care like “how’s Angel?” “How is he liking his job?” “Does he see himself there for long?” Etc,. Yes, Angel and I spend a lot of years loving each other. But we met at 13 years old. We’re adults now, life is complicated and requires our full focus. Not that I owe you an explanation, but we prefer to settle down once things are settled and in place so we can be successful together. It doesn’t change our desires. It doesn’t change how much we love each other. It doesn’t change our commitments. So the ring is not on my finger, but aren’t rings just a material symbol of what we feel inside? Well, the feelings are inside and they’re strong.
Aaaaaaand there they are, the three most annoying questions I get asked. I could turn this post into the top 5 questions but questions 4 and 5 are too deeply personal and the world isn’t ready for those answers.
My dad says I’m too opinionated for a young girl but I take that as a compliment. I have opinions and I have strength. I have my own brain and I love it. Im thankful for it. I think I’ve always been wildly sensitive, and you may think I’m taking these things out of your context. You may think I’m overthinking it. I get it. I don’t care. I know what I’m talking about. I can smell judgement.
For those of you who genuinely care- I appreciate you that much more. For those who pray for me, I can’t thank you enough.
And I don’t post this to sound bitter or angry, but as insight to others who get these questions too, you’re not alone. Sometimes life takes us in directions we didn’t anticipate. Plans don’t go as desired. You have to figure out how to adjust accordingly. Be strong. Pray. And to those who ask these questions I feel sorry for you, it must be lonely and vicious to have that judgmental mentality in your head space.
Thank you to those who are genuine. Thank you to those who understand. I couldn’t do life without you. Thank you to God who keeps me going. No one will ever care for me like He does.
Angela Maria 💕